muscle memory

we never realize
how strong we are
until we have to be

and we are stunned, when
having realized it once, we have to
keep on realizing

the hardest part is wanting life
to return to “normal”
forcing ourselves to face

that this has
…………..become normal
……………………..now

especially when people say
“You look great!” or   “I
don’t know how you do that!”

or “I would never
know anything
………….happened!”

no matter how
well-intentioned
it always hurts:

this stake in a “normal” not theirs
this defensive praise of what they may
have the luxury to choose not to do

somehow, though, the real hardest part
is remembering
all you really want is to breathe

…………..in
out
……………………..savoring

still alive
still together –
remembering –

glad to have
………….another day
………………………another breath

Somehow this gets lost in rough
patches or petty focus – or even worse
when we must realize, dammit, once again

never believing
there’s more where that came from –
…………trusting that

we won’t need it
this intensely
always

(© Sharon D. McCoy, February 2015

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About Sharon McCoy

Academic Free Agent and Instructor
This entry was posted in Cancer and Health, Poetry, Turning Inward. Bookmark the permalink.

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